Wednesday, August 3, 2011
I took her photo because I noticed her. I thought that she was beautiful. Her hair and skin, her simplicity. Mostly her eyes. I think about this image- a split second of her life- and I feel compelled to paint her. I am procrastinating because I stink at portraits, and because I don't want to fail (her). But, eventually I hope to gain enough skill, and courage.
So, she was in my thoughts again this morning. And I realized that one of the reasons I am so bad at remembering conversations may be because I am noticing things other than what is said with words. Like the way the light is falling across a cheek, or the transparency of a cornea, or the contour of an earlobe and the shadow it has cast on the neck. Yes, it's true. And as I am noticing those things, I am wondering how to represent them with a brush- what mix of colors is that skin tone? Would I paint that in a thin wash, or with a bit more paint? No kidding...I realized 3/4 of the way through a construction zone the other day that I was even in one. I had been "painting" the cumulous clouds- actually I was REpainting these new ones onto a failed painting from last week...So at some point, when I "came to" and realized I was in a construction zone, it was a little freaky. I laughed! All this to say...God has created me and built me and wired me a particular way. And He has implanted in me some of what makes Him...well, Him. He notices everything, everyone. (Ok...He would have known that He was in a construction zone). There is nothing that escapes His notice. Not even our suffering- what grieves us, grieves Him. When I feel anxious, He is saying "Cast your cares upon Me". He hears. And He sees.