Last week, I despaired over a painting. No matter what I did, it was not what I wanted it to be.My mind and hand would not cooperate. After 4 rounds, I took it off the easel and turned it away from me, in disgrace. In actuality, I felt in disgrace. I said the right words, and willed myself to try something else. But I felt derailed, as usual.
So, I willed myself to keep working- started another one, which was causing me equal frustration. This morning, as I was walking by my little makeshift studio area, I didn't decide to have a painting session. I just picked up a brush to fix a little something. Before I knew it, 2 hours had gone by, and both paintings were done. ish. They are not signed. So, here is last week's which turned into this week's. Although it is not my favorite, and there are areas that i think are still not working, it is "decent". It's not destined for the garbage can anymore.
One thing that helped was looking at other artist's interpretations of this same type of landscape. I found one artist whose work I really liked, and he shows in real live galleries, and had a bit of "me" in his work. That is, I saw that he interpreted some aspects of landscapes the same way that I would, but he had the edge over me. His brushwork showed the confidence that I feel I lack. As I looked at his online gallery, I felt hopeful, and remembered that "it" doesn't happen overnight, and requires effort, time, and patience. Not magic.
And it's the same with us...I so often forget that I am God's workmanship. He has created me, and is seeing to it that the work is completed. I think sometimes that He wants to turn my canvas away in disgrace, or that I am hovering over the garbage can...that is not the truth. Not HIS truth. Unlike me, He has never looked at this unfinished canvas and thrown up His hands in despair over me. He is untiring in His work, and will work until it's finished.